Articles

WHO HOLDS AN INNER FEAR OF INTIMACY? Pdf

WHO HOLDS AN INNER FEAR OF INTIMACY?
Written by Sylvia Marina, Personal Development Mentor.

Do you have negative conversations with your Self?
Do you remind yourself on a regular basis all the reasons why you can't?
Do you put your Self down and compare your Self to others? 

If you treated someone else that way, how fulfilling would that relationship would be? 

An inner fear of intimacy is at the heart of co-dependency. 
You have heard me speak of our desire for you to know self mastery – it’s a transformational process of having mastery over limitations that control your life.

You have a fear of intimacy because you fear abandonment, betrayal, and rejection. 
We have these fears because we were wounded in early childhood - we experienced feeling emotionally abandoned, rejected, and betrayed by our parents because ‘they’ were wounded. 
If ‘they’ did not have a healthy relationship with their self, if ‘they’ felt misunderstood, abandoned or betrayed then their behaviour formed the basis for us to feel unworthy and un-love-able!

How?
When we exited the warm nurturing cocoon of our incubator into the world of authority (anyone bigger than us), parents, siblings and authoritive personnel who had the early childhood responsibility of caring for us – these were the people we ‘trusted and loved’ the most, and through our infant mind interpreted their thoughts and attitudes, which ultimately hurt us the most.

An inner fear of intimacy is a direct result of early childhood experiences. 
Our lives have been lived ‘in reaction’ to the intellectual paradigms our egos adapted to deal with emotional trauma.

If you have ever wondered why it is so much easier to feel spiritual in relationship to nature or animals, here is your answer.  It was people who wounded you in childhood. This wounded-ness came from your interpretation of what was truly happening. You see the secret blessing for the authority (anyone bigger than us), was to see ‘you’ the child become perfect. If you failed to meet their expectation you watched and felt their reaction, frustration, anger, shame, plus their fear of ‘what others may think!’

Your self-image developed defences to protect you...from intimacy.

When we distance our-self we are less likely to get-it-wrong and thus not be misunderstood or hurt.

That’s why many are choosing to be financially secure before committing to intimate relationships or creating a family – they are distancing themselves from intimacy in an attempt to distance their self from more hurt and misunderstanding.

Money can’t buy love! Even though making more money is awesome and necessary in the society we are choosing to live in, the people who are attracted to our work want something much more valuable than money! 

They yearn to know how to ‘let go’ of struggle, fear and inner turmoil and embrace love, intimacy and purpose.

When you decide to create a loving relationship with your Self we are here to help you take conscious steps, to make it happen.

Sylvia Marina, Personal Development Mentor 

Sylvia Marina ND
Copyright ©2010 – Sylvia Marina | Speaker | Author | Mentor | www.sylviamarina.com

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.
HELPING PEOPLE THROUGH TIMES OF CHANGE.